Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)
You’re trying hard to look and act “normal” while you fight painful memories and feelings, try to take care of yourself and your responsibilities, avoid anything or anyone that feels too unsafe or stressful, and maybe find some relaxation or joy occasionally. You’re exhausted mentally and physically and feel chronically scared, depressed, irritable, self-critical, suspicious, on edge, super alert, jumpy, and/or numb. So you can “feel alive”, bury your pain, or “take control” you might be making risky decisions. Maybe you’re even feeling “crazy” sometimes because your brain is causing you to see, hear, taste, smell, or feel parts of the trauma, as if they’re happening again, while you’re just going about your day – a flashback, which is different from a memory. Your brain thinks it’s helping you make sense of something that doesn’t make sense with endless attempts at rewriting history in your mind. You know you’re doing this if you have a lot of thoughts that contain “should/would have”, “if only”, and “what if” phrases or you’re blaming yourself or others for what happened. Ultimately, those thoughts just reinforce how awful you feel.
People who have experienced trauma very often struggle to find good support. Some people just don’t understand, don’t know how to help, or feel uncomfortable so they offer empty, cheesy platitudes like “it made you stronger, though” and “everything happens for a reason” or downright unhelpful advice like “just forget about it”, “you need to make it work for (insert social cause/person here)” and “come get drunk with us. You just need to have some more fun.” Others may be benefiting from your pain, whether they realize it or not, so they spend a lot of time rationalizing, minimizing, or blaming you for what’s happened to you. If your trauma went on for many years or you’re discriminated against based on appearance or identity, being able to identify what good and bad support looks like can be even harder because your life experiences may not have given you a healthy “blueprint” for how that should look.
How I can help:
At least 50-60% of people experience at least one trauma in their lives. You’re not alone! I have a trauma history as well and know how difficult this can be. Trauma therapy is an area of special interest and training for me. PTSD is treatable, and you can build the life that you want! I’ll help you understand and normalize how your brain functions after you’ve heard about, witnessed, or directly experienced things that your mind doesn’t know how to cope with. People can experience trauma and not develop PTSD. The reasons why people do are complex and varied. It’s important that you see your trauma responses as a normal reaction to painful life experiences and not judge yourself.
In our sessions, I’ll talk often about the importance self-compassion; non-judgment of yourself, others, and circumstances; and acceptance of your authentic identity. These are some of the most essential building blocks of self-care. That’s ever-more important in trauma work because self-abuse through identity denial, unconstructive self-criticism, and minimizing your feelings and experiences only serve to add to the list of traumas you’re trying to recover from. Those thoughts aren’t yours; they’re learned! We’ll explore how to let go of the blame (particularly if it’s self-blame) OR channel the anger in a meaningful way, because sometimes that blame is righteous. You’ll also learn to release unhelpful thinking that reinforces your PTSD, soothe your nervous system, reconnect with the world and people around you with less fear and mistrust, find healthy rather than destructive coping skills, and set boundaries.