Life keeps us constantly busy and we’re told we should be able to do it all, never let ‘em see you sweat, give 110% (So ridiculous! What does this even mean?), and still have time to eat well, exercise, get 8 hours of sleep, have hobbies, and spend time with loved ones. You may be hearing things like, “Why can’t you just keep up?” “Just calm down!” “You just need to manage your time better.” “Jeez, you’re so extreme!” The people you trust and confide in say things like, “You’re so strong.” “I don’t know how you do it.” “You’ve got this! You always do!” You love them and appreciate their support so much! At the same time you think, “I don’t want to have to be strong all the time. I want ease! I’m exhausted. I do it because there’s no other option. I don’t always ‘got this.’ I’m worried I’ll fall apart completely and not be able to pick myself back up again.”

To cope, you scroll for hours on social media or stay ultra-busy so you don’t have time to think, demand perfection from yourself, or hide away because everything feels too over-stimulating. If you’re a high achiever, you’re good at hiding your anxiety behind attention to detail, people pleasing, and taking on unreasonable amounts of work to “prove” yourself. Others sing your praises, which viciously reinforces the pattern. There’s a counter-narrative to revolt and resist toxic societal messages, choose rest and self-care, allow more reasonable expectations of ourselves, and set boundaries at work to maintain balance. But how?! There’s literally not enough time in the day to do it all. Your boss is not going to happily demand less, and you can’t afford to lose your job by bucking the system. The household chores don’t magically get done while you’re sleeping. You don’t have a personal chef to plan and cook healthy meals 3 times a day. No one is coming to rescue you from your breakneck pace so that you can have time to breathe.