How your LGBTQIA+ identity intersects with other identities, parts of your life, and your mental health while also accounting for the role of oppression (whether overt or covert) is complex. Your relationships and interactions with others in your environment coexist with a recurring process of identifying to whom, how much of, and in what ways you tell your story. Much of the LGBTQIA+ acronym is rooted in binary views of sexuality, which can make it hard to identify or express who you are, particularly for trans and non-binary folx. Aligning physically with your identity may feel exhilarating, terrifying, and confusing all at once. There’s so much thought, emotional and psychological energy, time, and risk that go into naming your sexuality and gender identity. There are social risks (sometimes dangerous ones) that the queer community lives with every time someone new learns about or even suspects who we are.

To boot, it’s distressing if you feel you should be happier and instead find yourself feeling withdrawn, isolated, overwhelmed, or ambivalent. You want help with making sense of those feelings, obtaining resources, and/or finding more support. Some of my clients have spent years or a lifetime thinking about and aligning with who they are, and others have new realizations they’re trying to navigate. Reading books and articles, engaging in online forums and groups, journaling, self-reflecting, going to events or queer hangouts, and finding/trying to find your community is uplifting and a lot of work. You may have found some incredibly supportive people in your life already through social media, friends, family, and places in your area. If you haven’t found support yet, you may be feeling lonely, confused, and unsure.

So now you’re seeking out LGBTQIA+ affirming therapy—and let’s be real, that’s sometimes a gamble. This gamble feels even more real and vulnerable if you’re pursuing gender-affirming medical care and need to find willing and educated providers to submit letters to insurance to get you approved and provide the care needed.